


PDA: A Kiss

by Waynesgrayson



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-19
Updated: 2015-01-19
Packaged: 2018-03-08 05:05:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3196373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Waynesgrayson/pseuds/Waynesgrayson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You know you can tell me when I mess up,” he grins, “I'm a big boy, I can handle the criticism.”<br/>That gets him a look, and he smiles, nudging Daryl's shoulder with his own.<br/>“C'mon, Dixon. Give me yer worst.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	PDA: A Kiss

**Author's Note:**

> It's cheesy.

They sit together during breakfast.

Judith is babbling and humming in Rick's lap, filling up the room with loud shrieks of excitement and no amount of her fathers hushing seems to stop her; not when everyone is around her and fueling her energy. Grabbing onto her fathers face, she pulls him close and mouths at his cheek, fingers scratching his chin as she continues to make nonsensical noises.

Breakfast is almost always surreal. They all sit down together every morning, and in those moments everything seemed to vanish. The world falls away and all that's left is the company and conversation.

Like it was normal, natural.

As if the world didn't fall apart and outside their doors wasn't death.

He talks quietly to Judith, trying to get something in her belly as she rambles on about something. He smiles when she opens up and takes what he's offering, the beginnings of teeth digging into his fingers. He's half listening to Glenn and Michonne talk as they loudly arguing the most effective way of getting stuck bread out of a toaster.

“You take a knife, stick it in the bread at the top and lift it up! Who doesn't do that?”

“People who don't wanna die from electrocution?”

“If you manage to die from taking toast out of a toaster then I'm sorry, but natural selection.”

“Says the woman living in an apocalypse.”

“Natural selection!”

Maggie's and Tyreese's laughs ring out the loudest among the table, bright and full of life. Rick laughs along, not able to resist.

It's infectious, their joy.

A few separate conversations are going on around him; Hershel and Bob quietly talking, heads close together. It was clear Hershel was giving him a talk - about what Rick wasn't sure, though he knew it was being handled. After Tyreese's laugh Karen touches his arm, drawing him into their own little conversation.

Rick smiles, keeping to himself and occasionally making noises when Judith says something that seems very important to her. Like when Sasha slams her hands down on the table from laughter, Judith slams her tiny fists on Ricks chest, looking up at him with wide eyes, a loud exclamation leaving her throat. He looks back at her with the same wide eyed expression, “What? D'you think that was funny too? Or was Sasha being silly? Are they all silly?”

He tunes back into the conversation when Daryl laughs suddenly.

Daryl was at his side, switching between adding his own two cents to the very important and lively discussion, and giving his attention to Judith. Absentmindedly running his fingers through her hair or just reaching out and touching her arm or back, fingers barely brushing Rick's arm. Whenever it happened Rick would give him a content smile.

It was easy to feel tired and separated these days, but when they all sat down for a few minutes at the rickety table - obviously not meant for so many people – with conversation and laughs spilling so easily from their lips, all Rick could feel was a settled ease. Like he was home, even though home wasn't a word he'd use for what this was. But they were safe and okay and it was good enough for right now.

Especially since he and Daryl got together.

\--

He couldn't say it was something he expected. But he'd be lying if he said it wasn't something that crossed his mind often after they had met. He knew that something had gone on between Lori and Shane, before he came back. He understood that she believed him dead and found comfort in another person who had loved him just like she had.

That she didn't really cheat on him.

Though sometimes helped to think like that so he could justify how he felt about Daryl. He didn't act on his thoughts while Lori was alive, though he couldn't say he was a saint; dropping small hints here or there, getting closer.

He could say that while he was interested in perusing a more romantic relationship with Daryl, he did honestly want to befriend the man. That just like everyone else he had met and came to trust, he wanted to protect him, see him through the new world.

He knew that any relationship other then what they had wasn't much of a possibility. Daryl was a soft person, it was obvious to anyone who really got to know him. But it wasn't something he just showed. It was there in small gestures and fleeting moments, silent words and barely there touches. He was quiet and subtle in his affections and it was obvious that the acknowledgement stay just as quiet.

But without really knowing it, Daryl had seduced Rick fully.

He wasn't proud of the fact that he was a married man with a full blown crush on another person. He knew that it wasn't fair to Lori and while their marriage was in shambles, and that they shouldn't really of been considered married once the world turned, they were, and he respected that.

He still loved Lori. How could he not? They were together for so long and had two kids that he loves more then he ever thought was possible. It was impossible for him not to love her, and even though their last years together weren't as perfect as the rest of their love was, he knew she'd always be in his heart.

When she died, he felt his floodgates open and pour out everything he felt and thought until he couldn't even begin to comprehend his own mind. Hallucinations, increased violence, and a sadness so thick it felt like he was being sucked in a whirlpool, constantly being pulled down as he hopelessly reached for the surface.

He really didn't think he'd find his salvation in the form of dirt and pea plants.

\--

It happens a few months short of a year later.

\--

He found him sitting in one of the towers. Legs dangling over the edge, swinging slightly. He was looking intently into the night. Rick slowly approached him, taking a seat beside him. Daryl turned his head slightly in acknowledgement, but didn't full on look at Rick. Rick hated the feeling that filled him. How badly the urge to grab the mans face and make him look at him was.

They sat in silence for awhile. Usually, the silences they shared were comfortable and safe. But this was different. Rick couldn't quiet place the feeling, but the air was tense, and he didn't like not knowing why it was.

“You okay? You've been avoiding me for awhile now. I didn't do something, did I?”

Daryl didn't answer him and continued to look out into the night. Rick tried to make eye contact, but couldn’t without tilting his head and getting into the other mans space, and if he was in trouble with Daryl, he didn't want to push his luck.

“'Cause if I did, I'm sorry.”

That gets him a sigh.

“You know you can tell me when I mess up,” he grins, “I'm a big boy, I can handle the criticism.”

That gets him a look, and he smiles, nudging Daryl's shoulder with his own.

“C'mon, Dixon. Give me yer worst.”

He was expecting the “Ah, fuck it” to a certain degree. What he wasn't expect was for Daryl to turn and lean forward, pressing his lips cautiously against his own. The soft and almost heartbreaking way they moved against his own. So unsure and hesitant that Rick felt a sadness fill in his chest.

Slowly, he raises his hands to cup Daryl's face, and at first he hates himself for the way the touch makes Daryl startle and pull back. But when he doesn't move far, lips still close enough to kiss, Rick smiles at him, hands moving up towards his hair.

“Rick, I-”

“Kiss me. Kiss me again, Daryl.”

And he does, this time with urgency and a fierceness Rick wasn't expecting, but quickly falls into.

He feels like a teenager, making out with someone in the back seat of his car. He feels giddy, he feels good.

He doesn't really know when Daryl ended up straddling him, he's also not too sure as to when they moved so his back was up against the tower wall, but he isn't about to question it.

He smiles as they kiss, a low hum in the back of his throat makes Daryl pull away slightly.

“What're you smiling at?”

Rick knows that they should probably be on guard. That even though it's night they're probably putting on a very good show for someone nosey, but he doesn't care. He reaches up and cups Daryl's face with one hand, his smile stretching. “At you.”

Daryl scoffs, “Stop.”

“Nah, I ain't stopin'. I'm smiling 'cause I got you right here,” he says, punctuating his last words with a roll of his hips. Even though it's dark he sees Daryl's flushed skin get redder, and he finds himself wanting to know, not for the first time, how far down the colour goes.

“Not tonight. I want to, but not tonight.”

Rick is a little disappointed, but part of him understands.

He nods, “Okay.”

Daryl gives him a smile. It's small and shy, and Rick feels his heartbeat grow wild at the sight before Daryl leans down.

\--

They don't hide the new development in their relationship, but they don't broadcast it either. If asked, Rick would answer honestly. Daryl would as well, but the answer was more often then not a mumbled, “Shut up” before he stalked away.

Michonne finds unadulterated happiness in Daryl's embarrassment, leering at him at breakfast or whenever she sees him around the prison. Sitting next to him one night at dinner she nudges his knee, leaning into him with a look in her eyes that promises no mercy.

“Is he a good kisser?”

“Stop it.”

“Does he listen when you talk?”

“Mich-”

“Do we have to have _the talk_?” she whispers that last part like it's some secret, like it's scandalous.

“I swear to god.”

He doesn’t walk away, in fact, he finds himself trying to hide a smile as she continues talking, a faint blush spreading across his cheeks and chest.

\--

While their relationship is out in the open, they don't express it freely.

They don't hold hands or links arms, no kisses shared out in the open.

Rick wants to. He wants to be able to reach out for Daryl and hold on to him, to kiss him in front of the others without worry of hurting Daryl. He knows all that stuff will come with time. Rick just wishes he was a more patient person.

\--

It's during breakfast that he notices it again. He's been like this for a couple weeks now. It's not hard to pick up on, but it's just as easy to miss.

Daryl is tense.

He's still in the conversation, now about the most simple, yet satisfying if-done-right prank. He's laughing with everyone and giving his own stories of relishing in someone's embarrassment, but Rick can tell that his mind's elsewhere. It's in the way he shifts more the usual, his eyes darting around.

When breakfast is over and Beth has taken Judith away with Carl, Rick grabs Daryl's wrist lightly, stopping the man from leaving.

“Hey, you all right?”

Daryl looks at him for a moment before nodding, “Yeah, I'm fine.”

Rick doesn't believe him, but he doesn't want to push and prod, knowing that that won't help him figure out what's wrong with Daryl any faster. In fact, it would only prolong the finding.

Instead, he nods and squeezes Daryl's hand before letting him go. Daryl doesn't move though, and it looks like he's about to speak when Glenn walks into the room.

“Oh, there you are, Dare. You up for checking the blocks?”

“Yeah, be right there,” Daryl says with a nod. He looks at Rick again and nods in reassurance before following Glenn out. 

\--

Rick watches him for the rest of the day. He could see that there was something on his mind, something bothering him, though whenever he asked about it he was told it was nothing. If Rick was younger or more insecure he might have thought Daryl wasn't interested in him anymore, but after being married for so long he knew the ups and downs of his partner when they came. Sometimes, the other person just needed their space and there was really nothing you could do but wait until they come to you for help, or until they got themselves sorted out.

He doesn't take Daryl's distance personally.

But it does bother him that he can't help. It's what he does. Solve the problem, be the person others can turn to when they just don't know.

But he waits, knowing Daryl will come to him soon enough. In his own time.

\--

It's just before Rick and Michonne leave for a run that she insisted he join her for.

He was in a transitioning phase, slowly leaving some of his farming to the others and taking back his gun. She said it would be good for him, and he agreed.

She's packing the trunk with Carl. Filling it with empty duffel bags and backpacks for anything they may find. She and Carl are talking and she's making him smile and laugh and Rick can't help but watch on, a smile appearing on his lips at his sons happiness, something he'll forever be indebted to Michonne for.

He feels him approach before he sees him and he smiles as he turns, but before he can ask him if he's okay again, Daryl is right in his face and the words die in his throat. He can feel his heart pickup a touch and his skin tingles in hope and anticipation. Hesitant hands reach out and grab either side of his open jacket and he moves without thinking, leaning closer. Daryl is looking at him, his eyes flickering about, nervous and unsure and Rick wants to smile but knows that that will only discourage Daryl.

So he waits and watches back.

The moment is intense and filled with an electricity that almost burns but Rick loves it. He loves the feeling of it on his skin and he almost sighs when Daryl finally leans forward and presses a kiss against his lips.

It's small and it's quick, and Rick has to stop himself from deepening it. From making it something more because this isn't about him, no matter how involved he is and wants it to be.

He knows that this is something Daryl has to do so he can know for sure that it's okay to touch and kiss Rick in front of the others. That it's okay, and nothing will happen to him for it. That everything about them being together is okay.

It's not that Daryl doesn't show affection, because he does. Touching stomachs and arms, a slap on the back and a soft punch to the shoulder – something he's started doing with Michonne, and it's worth everything seeing her beaming smile and his small, barely there one, together- but this is something else entirely.

No one says a word. No cheers or whistling, though Rick knows Michonne is barely holding herself back and that they're both in for a world of teasing and suggestive smiles later, but it'll be okay.

Rick knows it's not something that's going to cure itself right away. Years of having this mindset instilled in Daryl's head; part of him hating it and wanting to give it all a chance, while the other part of him holds onto it so tightly, as if afraid he'll die without his fathers words.

It could be weeks or months before Daryl is willing to initiate another kiss in front of the others, or, even be willing to receive one. He knows that Daryl will feel frustrated with himself, laying awake at night beside Rick, wanting to talk to him but simply can't. Or he'll escape, walking around the grounds keeping watch while his brain goes into overdrive about it all, words from long ago ringing in his skull until he has to sit down from the weight of them.

When he pulls away Rick hold his breath, watching the other mans face. Daryl is still, eyes focused on Ricks, breathing a bit on the heavy side despite how chaste the kiss was. Rick smiles this time as Daryl leans in again and presses another kiss to his lips before pulling away. Daryl gives him a small shy smile before turning around and walking away.

Rick stands there as if rooted to the spot, watching Daryl walk away, and suddenly the run doesn't seem all that important. Michonne walks up beside him, a smug smile on her face.

“Let's go, Romeo. The sooner we go, the sooner we come back and you can have your prince.”

Daryl doesn't look back as he walks away, but Rick finds himself looking over his shoulder as he walks to the passenger side of the car, a faint unbelieving smile on his face. With a soft huff Rick gets in the car, thoughts on Daryl.

\--

When they find the small grocery store they take a few laps around it, picking up things people didn't grab or think to grab.

Rick doesn't grin when Michonne throws a questionable box of condoms at him, or laugh when she begins giving him the safe sex talk.

He really doesn't.

\--

When they get back from the run, Maggie and Sasha meet them at the gate, pulling it open and shutting it closed. They help grab the bags and any loose things in the trunk, smiling at the weight of it all.

“Looks like you guys gotta good amount of things,” Sasha says with a smile that alights her eyes.

Rick nods, “Well, we tried. Hopefully something's useful.”

Sasha nods, and follows Maggie and Michonne into the prison.

Rick looks around, though he knows it's pretty pointless. He knows that he won't find Daryl, but he can't stop himself from looking. He sighs when he doesn't see him, and makes his way to the garden.

He spends the next few hours with Carl in the fields.

“Put it in that hole there.”

“This one?”

“Yeah. Then pack the dirt around it, but keep it loose at the top. Don't seal it in or it'll have a hard time breaking the surface, and we run the risk of not get anything.”

\--

He doesn't see Daryl until dinner. This time everyone is outside, spread out more and talking in small groups. He finds Daryl sitting with Carol and Michonne, the two woman clearly giving him an earful. Carol normally wasn't one for this kind of talk but she wasn't going to pass up an opportunity to get Daryl flustered. Rick joins them once he knows that Carl and Judith have food, taking a seat next to Carol.

He doesn't say anything, just sits down on the grass, watching with amusement as the ladies paint Daryl's skin several shades of red, the flames of the fire doing nothing but enhance the intensity of his blush.

“Y'ladies go get your kicks somewhere else, I ain't your damn entertainment!” 

“You mean you're not the stripper we hired?”

He sits with them for a little while longer before leaving for the fields, watching the sky fade from dark blues into clouded black, a small smile on his face.

\--

He hears someone approach from behind. The steps are quiet enough, but he can tell that if the person causing them didn't want him to know of their entrance, he wouldn't have heard them.

“I'll take watch."

“You sure?”

Michonne nods as she sits down beside him, shifting her katana so it's in front of her.

“Yeah, I am. Go, I know you want to find him.”

Rick huffs out a laugh and looks down at the ground, “That obvious, huh?”

“Yeah, it's getting to be a bit much. You need to work on your poker face. Now go.”

Rick laughs, “Yes ma'am.”

\--

It takes Rick a lot longer to find him then he thought it would. At first he thought Daryl was avoiding him - and while that was very much a possibility - Rick knew he wouldn't be that embarrassed.

When he eventually found Daryl he was standing in Carl's room, Judith still and quiet in his arms as he rocked her slowly. He was talking to her but his words were so quiet Rick couldn't make out what he was saying. Though that didn't matter because he felt himself fall into ease with the sight before him. He knew Daryl knew he was there, but neither said anything. Content with the moment.

After awhile Daryl made his way to the crib in the corner, gently placing Judith down and slowly moving away from her, as if any sudden noise would wake her.

Daryl walks towards him and they both leave Carl's room, stopping to fix the bed sheet door.

“Hey.”

“Hey, yourself.”

He smiles when Daryl walks away, but not before grabbing his arm and pulling him towards their room.

When they get there Daryl lets go and sits on the bed, avoiding Rick's gaze.

“You kissed me," Rick says.

“Yeah, I did.”

Rick smiles wide, “You wanna do it again?”

Daryl looks up at him through his bangs, “What're you, twelve?”

“Maybe,” Rick says walking over until he's standing over Daryl.

Daryl looks down again and Rick smiles before pushing Daryl back and straddling his hips, arms wrapping around Daryl's neck. Rick leans forward until their noses touch. “So, do you like me? Yes or no.”

Daryl ducks his head but smiles.

“Yes, you moron.”

“Good.”

\--

Rick is right. The next day Daryl doesn't kiss him in front of the others, and he won't again for several weeks.

But he does hold his hand for a while, and Rick knows he's on his way.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I am very aware of how much I made Daryl blush in this fic.  
> It's on purpose.
> 
> http://waynesgrayson.tumblr.com/


End file.
